It's funny how we as Christains often times will become stumbling blocks for others. But what happens, when we become stumbling blocks for other Chrsitains? Is there anything we can do? And what if our own issues are causing us to stumble?
I can't lie, For the past year, I have felt completely distant from God, and blame it on getting into some situations that have ended up really hurting me in the end. The one promise that I have leaned on during this time comes from Romans 8:37 "No, in all these things we are more than Conquerors through him who loved us."
I am finally deciding to learn more about the fact that I am stumbling and tumbling towards God, and will be sharing some thoughts on the matter. Join me?
31 July 2010
11 April 2010
New Life
So much has happened in the past few months, the main thing is that my grandfather passed away. This has given me time to learn new things and experience different parts of my emotional make-up like never before. In doing so it's also allowed me to rely on God much more...and this has been the blessing.
When it seems that nothing else will work, rely on God, for only He can do things for you...and change your heart aches into praises!
When it seems that nothing else will work, rely on God, for only He can do things for you...and change your heart aches into praises!
22 November 2009
14 August 2009
Mercy
"Mercy came running, like a prisoner set free, past all my failures to the point of my need."
Yes, Mercy has come running. I realized last night that just as Kambi has shown me mercy numerous times, that I must show David the same mercy and kindness. I have documented what happened last night at the coffee shop and will be keeping a "log" of any other happenings...but mercy and forgiveness has been shown this time.
Yes, Mercy has come running. I realized last night that just as Kambi has shown me mercy numerous times, that I must show David the same mercy and kindness. I have documented what happened last night at the coffee shop and will be keeping a "log" of any other happenings...but mercy and forgiveness has been shown this time.
26 July 2009
Forgivness...worth the sweet consequences
I must give praises to God Almighty today. Just last week I asked my Fellowship Group to pray that I'd be able to ask someone to forgive me for wrongs that I had done. One woman, said "you ever think maybe its not time, since that person keeps rejecting you? I mean the Holy Spirit doesn't just lead you into something and not know the outcome." Another said, "What if Rachel, is being obedient, what if the other person just isn't listening to what the Spirit is telling her?" Needless to say I had sided with the latter of the two.
Feeling quite distressed though, I went to therapy on Thursday and told my therapist, "Look, she can either speak to me on earth and forgive me or not. Either way the jokes on her, because she has to spend eternity with me." Larking about is my way of dealing with rejection, preceived or otherwise.
Today, I got up about 20 mins too late to go to church, but decided to go anyway. I thought, "Well I'll just leave early and come home and do my tests for school, then go to work." When the time came for me to leave, I couldn't budge. I tried every rational I could think of to get me out of that seat and into my car to come home. "I wasn't going to take communion, so why stay for it?" "I just didn't feel like being at church." "Well I came to the sermon, so why stay afterwards and talk to everyone?" Praise be to God, that I did stay, because while I was talking to someone about my student loan refunds that I had gotten, I the person I wanted to apologize walked in and said, "Sorry to interupt, but what did you want last week?" My heart leapt and I said, "Come over here, let's talk." Now I had a whole speech planned for the apology...but all I could say was "I'm Sorry." When asked for what, all I could say was "For everything." She told me all was forgiven, but that we wouldn't be friends. As she felt gunshy about me (and with good reason). Now that did come as a shock, but what was more was when she said to me, "Look, I need to apologize to you too." I mean you could have knocked me over with a feather, I said, "For what?" nearly laughing, and crying at the same time, she said, "For the way I handled things, I didn't mean to alienate you, I should have just said, back off." We spoke, because I told her I wanted us to be civil to each other, that I knew we couldn't be friends. Then I cried all the way home...matter of fact, if I fail my psychology and biblical survey tests, it's because I am so happy right now that I got something off my chest and I realize that while I may not be good at relationships, I serve a God who can take my messups and fix them.
So today, as I give praises to God, I have to say "I AM NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE, BUT I THANK GOD I AM NOT WHERE I USED TO BE!"
Feeling quite distressed though, I went to therapy on Thursday and told my therapist, "Look, she can either speak to me on earth and forgive me or not. Either way the jokes on her, because she has to spend eternity with me." Larking about is my way of dealing with rejection, preceived or otherwise.
Today, I got up about 20 mins too late to go to church, but decided to go anyway. I thought, "Well I'll just leave early and come home and do my tests for school, then go to work." When the time came for me to leave, I couldn't budge. I tried every rational I could think of to get me out of that seat and into my car to come home. "I wasn't going to take communion, so why stay for it?" "I just didn't feel like being at church." "Well I came to the sermon, so why stay afterwards and talk to everyone?" Praise be to God, that I did stay, because while I was talking to someone about my student loan refunds that I had gotten, I the person I wanted to apologize walked in and said, "Sorry to interupt, but what did you want last week?" My heart leapt and I said, "Come over here, let's talk." Now I had a whole speech planned for the apology...but all I could say was "I'm Sorry." When asked for what, all I could say was "For everything." She told me all was forgiven, but that we wouldn't be friends. As she felt gunshy about me (and with good reason). Now that did come as a shock, but what was more was when she said to me, "Look, I need to apologize to you too." I mean you could have knocked me over with a feather, I said, "For what?" nearly laughing, and crying at the same time, she said, "For the way I handled things, I didn't mean to alienate you, I should have just said, back off." We spoke, because I told her I wanted us to be civil to each other, that I knew we couldn't be friends. Then I cried all the way home...matter of fact, if I fail my psychology and biblical survey tests, it's because I am so happy right now that I got something off my chest and I realize that while I may not be good at relationships, I serve a God who can take my messups and fix them.
So today, as I give praises to God, I have to say "I AM NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE, BUT I THANK GOD I AM NOT WHERE I USED TO BE!"
01 July 2009
Blessing the Space Between Us
I was at the library and reading various books in the religion/bible section and something just pulled my heart over to the prayer section where I found a book called "To Bless the Space Between Us." At first I thought, whatever, it's got a nice celtic design on the front, but whatever! Then something (God) told me to pick it up and thumb through it; so I did.
I found a prayer, "For Lost Friends" and immediately I thought about that person who may or may not getting a restraining order against me. And as I read it, I felt more inclined to share that prayer here.
As Twilight makes a rainbow robe
From the concealed colors of day
In order for time to stay alive
Within the dark weight of night,
May we lose no one we love
From the shelter of our hearts.
When we love another heart
And allow it to love us,
We journey deep below time
Into that eternal weave
Where nothing unravels.
May we have the grace to see
despite the hurt of rupture,
The searing of anger,
And the empty disappointment,
That whoever we have loved,
Such love can never quench.
Though a door may have closed,
Closed between us,
May we be able to view
Our lost friends with eyes
Wise with calming grace;
Forgive them the damage
We were left to inherit;
Free ourselves from the chains
Of forlorn resentment;
Bring warmth again to
Where the heart has frozen
In order that beyond the walls
Of our cherished hurt
And chosen distance
We may be able to
Celebrate the gifts they brought,
Learn and grow from the pain,
And prosper into difference,
Wishing them peace
Where spirit can summon
Beauty from wounded space.
Now that prayer of blessing is especially hard for one like me to write, because this is the second person to hate me enough to want to damage me with a restraining/protective order. But it is a sincere prayer. I do wish this person peace, and I know for a fact (because God promises me in Isaiah 61:2 that I "receive Beauty for Ashes."
Right now my ashes are my sorrow, disappointment and discouragement, but the beauty that I will receive is righteousness and favor amoung men and angels. It may not come in this life, I may have to live with sorrow for many, many, many years, but I will receive a reward for fighting this fight. All I can do is fight the good fight, allow the Holy Spirit to come and heal my heart, from the brokeness that it is feeling.
But God is a God of mercy, tender mercies...and he shall supply all our needs as long as we allow him. I encourage you today to go and lay down things at God's feet and allow Him to take away the pain, disappointment and discouragement, let him give you, "Beauty for Ashes, strength for Fear, gladness for morning, peace for dispair" with out them, and with out God, we can't go on.
I found a prayer, "For Lost Friends" and immediately I thought about that person who may or may not getting a restraining order against me. And as I read it, I felt more inclined to share that prayer here.
As Twilight makes a rainbow robe
From the concealed colors of day
In order for time to stay alive
Within the dark weight of night,
May we lose no one we love
From the shelter of our hearts.
When we love another heart
And allow it to love us,
We journey deep below time
Into that eternal weave
Where nothing unravels.
May we have the grace to see
despite the hurt of rupture,
The searing of anger,
And the empty disappointment,
That whoever we have loved,
Such love can never quench.
Though a door may have closed,
Closed between us,
May we be able to view
Our lost friends with eyes
Wise with calming grace;
Forgive them the damage
We were left to inherit;
Free ourselves from the chains
Of forlorn resentment;
Bring warmth again to
Where the heart has frozen
In order that beyond the walls
Of our cherished hurt
And chosen distance
We may be able to
Celebrate the gifts they brought,
Learn and grow from the pain,
And prosper into difference,
Wishing them peace
Where spirit can summon
Beauty from wounded space.
Now that prayer of blessing is especially hard for one like me to write, because this is the second person to hate me enough to want to damage me with a restraining/protective order. But it is a sincere prayer. I do wish this person peace, and I know for a fact (because God promises me in Isaiah 61:2 that I "receive Beauty for Ashes."
Right now my ashes are my sorrow, disappointment and discouragement, but the beauty that I will receive is righteousness and favor amoung men and angels. It may not come in this life, I may have to live with sorrow for many, many, many years, but I will receive a reward for fighting this fight. All I can do is fight the good fight, allow the Holy Spirit to come and heal my heart, from the brokeness that it is feeling.
But God is a God of mercy, tender mercies...and he shall supply all our needs as long as we allow him. I encourage you today to go and lay down things at God's feet and allow Him to take away the pain, disappointment and discouragement, let him give you, "Beauty for Ashes, strength for Fear, gladness for morning, peace for dispair" with out them, and with out God, we can't go on.
13 July 2008
Climbing Trees (Spanish Version)/Montañismo Árboles
Luke 19: 1-10 1 Jesús entró en Jericó y pasaba. 2 un hombre estaba allí por el nombre de Zacchaeus; él era un recaudador de impuestos principal y era rico. 3 Él quiso ver a quién Jesús era, pero ser un hombre corto él no podría, debido a la muchedumbre. 4 Entonces él corrió delante y subió una higuera de sicómoro para verlo, ya que Jesús venía aquel camino. 5 Cuando Jesús alcanzó el punto, él alzó la vista y le dijo, "Zacchaeus, bajado inmediatamente. Debo quedarme en su casa hoy." 6 Entonces él bajó inmediatamente y dio la bienvenida a él de buena gana.
7 Todas las personas vieron este y comenzaron a refunfuñar, "Él ha ido para ser el invitado de 'un pecador.'"¡8 Pero Zacchaeus se levantó y dijo al Señor, "mire usted, Señor! Aquí y ahora doy la mitad de mis posesiones al pobre, y si he engañado a alguien de algo, devolveré cuatro veces la cantidad." 9 Jesús le dijo, "Hoy la salvación ha venido a esta casa, porque este hombre, también, es un hijo de Abraham. 10 Para el Hijo del Hombre vino para buscar y salvar lo que fue perdido."
Hoy en el servicio oímos el mensaje imponente sobre Zaccehaus ... y el Señor sólo habló a mi corazón.
Cuando el ministro comenzó a hablar hoy, ella indicó que Zaccheaus, era un muy hombre acaudalado. Pero algo en su vida fallaba. Sólo comencé a rezar... ¿"Dios, por qué hizo Zaccheaus realmente sube aquel viejo árbol para?" Quiero decir sí, sé que él era un pequeño hombre pequeñito y subió en el árbol para ver a quién Jesús era, pero por qué hizo él realmente sube en aquel árbol. Él podría acabar de presionar su camino por la muchedumbre.
El Zaccheaus era corto, sin duda sobre ello ... pero él era también rico. Pero algo fallaba en su vida. Algo que sólo puede ser realizado por una relación con Jesucristo nuestro salvador. La razón que él subió en aquel árbol era la misma razón subimos árboles (espiritualmente hablando) ... queremos ver y ser cerca de Dios vivo. Dios que vino a la tierra en la forma de una vida, respirando al hombre para amarnos, enseñarnos y darnos el perdón muy necesario.
Note lo que pasó, Jesús dijo a Zaccheaus, "Bajan inmediatamente..." En otras palabras, no vacile en verme ... vienen ahora ... vienen me ver ahora. Jesús también dice que "voy a su casa para la comida." Él llamó Zaccheaus por su nombre ... una cosa muy personal de hacer, y luego él dijo, "vengo a su casa..." Quiero venir vivo dentro de su corazón. El Zaccheaus no esperaba que Jesús lo vería o lo mencionaría ... pero Él hizo... Él tomó el modo muy impersonal de Zaccheaus de conseguir ver a Jesús, y lo convirtió en una experiencia personal por ir a pasar el tiempo con Zaccheaus.
Cada día, subimos árboles para ver sólo a Dios. Ver a qué él parece o ser más cercano a Él. Pero mientras somos allá arriba a menudo lo tratamos como algo ... impersonal y no deberíamos. Deberíamos tratar cada momento que gastamos con Dios como un convite... Jesús vino a nuestra "casa" para vivir ... y deberíamos tomar esto muy seriamente ... porque es que la relación con Jesús que nos purifica ... convierte nuestros errores y pecados en lecciones que podemos usar para Su gloria.
Hoy quiero animarle a llevar tiempo y buscar aquellos sitios en los cuales usted necesita a Dios para entrar y barrer. Invitación a Dios a venir a su casa ... para vivir con usted, llamarle por su nombre...
7 Todas las personas vieron este y comenzaron a refunfuñar, "Él ha ido para ser el invitado de 'un pecador.'"¡8 Pero Zacchaeus se levantó y dijo al Señor, "mire usted, Señor! Aquí y ahora doy la mitad de mis posesiones al pobre, y si he engañado a alguien de algo, devolveré cuatro veces la cantidad." 9 Jesús le dijo, "Hoy la salvación ha venido a esta casa, porque este hombre, también, es un hijo de Abraham. 10 Para el Hijo del Hombre vino para buscar y salvar lo que fue perdido."
Hoy en el servicio oímos el mensaje imponente sobre Zaccehaus ... y el Señor sólo habló a mi corazón.
Cuando el ministro comenzó a hablar hoy, ella indicó que Zaccheaus, era un muy hombre acaudalado. Pero algo en su vida fallaba. Sólo comencé a rezar... ¿"Dios, por qué hizo Zaccheaus realmente sube aquel viejo árbol para?" Quiero decir sí, sé que él era un pequeño hombre pequeñito y subió en el árbol para ver a quién Jesús era, pero por qué hizo él realmente sube en aquel árbol. Él podría acabar de presionar su camino por la muchedumbre.
El Zaccheaus era corto, sin duda sobre ello ... pero él era también rico. Pero algo fallaba en su vida. Algo que sólo puede ser realizado por una relación con Jesucristo nuestro salvador. La razón que él subió en aquel árbol era la misma razón subimos árboles (espiritualmente hablando) ... queremos ver y ser cerca de Dios vivo. Dios que vino a la tierra en la forma de una vida, respirando al hombre para amarnos, enseñarnos y darnos el perdón muy necesario.
Note lo que pasó, Jesús dijo a Zaccheaus, "Bajan inmediatamente..." En otras palabras, no vacile en verme ... vienen ahora ... vienen me ver ahora. Jesús también dice que "voy a su casa para la comida." Él llamó Zaccheaus por su nombre ... una cosa muy personal de hacer, y luego él dijo, "vengo a su casa..." Quiero venir vivo dentro de su corazón. El Zaccheaus no esperaba que Jesús lo vería o lo mencionaría ... pero Él hizo... Él tomó el modo muy impersonal de Zaccheaus de conseguir ver a Jesús, y lo convirtió en una experiencia personal por ir a pasar el tiempo con Zaccheaus.
Cada día, subimos árboles para ver sólo a Dios. Ver a qué él parece o ser más cercano a Él. Pero mientras somos allá arriba a menudo lo tratamos como algo ... impersonal y no deberíamos. Deberíamos tratar cada momento que gastamos con Dios como un convite... Jesús vino a nuestra "casa" para vivir ... y deberíamos tomar esto muy seriamente ... porque es que la relación con Jesús que nos purifica ... convierte nuestros errores y pecados en lecciones que podemos usar para Su gloria.
Hoy quiero animarle a llevar tiempo y buscar aquellos sitios en los cuales usted necesita a Dios para entrar y barrer. Invitación a Dios a venir a su casa ... para vivir con usted, llamarle por su nombre...
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